Personal | Our First Winter

Coffee and Hot Tea.
Oatmeal.
Down Feather Coats with Fleece Pockets.
Big Fluffy Scarves.
Knit Beanies.
Gloves.
Warm Socks.
Warm Thoughts.

Waterproof Boots.

A Cozy Home.

Each Other. 

                                                                   Mostly Each Other.
www.chellisemichaelphotography.com

Pretty Things

Its getting chilly out. These are photos of dried lavender that I spray pained white and hung in my home so they would last forever. They feel like winter to me.

Personal | Jump.

So as you may know, Mike and I moved to Brooklyn 4 months ago with little goals and BIG goals. My plan was to get a quick serving job to support myself while I pursue my blossoming photography business. Here's how it went:  1) Get a great serving job that allows me a light schedule with cash.  2) Use the remaining time attending networking groups and photography conferences. 3) Make friends. Sounds simple right?
Well for some reason, it isnt...ok making friends is, hello! Im a Gemini!   :D
So far, all of this energy wasted on looking for a decent serving job has done nothing but prevent me from doing what I really should be putting my energy towards, what I love..photography. However, this plan has been nothing but one disappointment after the other. Whats a girl gotta do to get by around here? There has to be at least 3 million restaurants in NYC and I KNOW people have money to spend on fabulous waitresses.. WHAT GIVES? Ive blazed through 4 or 5 places, mostly because they straight up lie about the profit Ill be making. I know my worth in that business and its not cheap! Have you seen my smile lately? And have you seen my hustle? Im a ninja!! And to top it off, Im genuinely NICE!! ( unless your mean to me...then I kindly ignore you...keep your five bucks..)
So why am I torturing myself? I have a savings account but its for emergencies. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! IM LOSING MY EFFING MIND!!! I need to allow myself to invest in myself. (see how there is 2 of us? Me against me?) Its ok invest in my business. Actually, its GREAT to invest in my own business.
I worry about money too much because I have a fear of debt. I must let that go. I cant let a few thousand dollars prevent me from exceeding and earning triple. I will not let that fear dictate my future.
So I've been going over this alot lately. alot. Over and over, mostly while I stand around in dead ass restaurants waiting for imaginary customers to come in and support me.
Over dinner the other night, after a weird day of mood swings and personal torture, Mike asked me what was wrong. And if you're anything like me, you try to be tough and battle your problems alone to not bother anyone with your issues. ( I cant help it, Im programmed this way and I don't even realize it until its boiling) But you see, Michael can see right through my fake smile and sad eyes and I just lost it. Right there, in public. And then, because Im crying in public, I cry more because Im in public and its embarrassing. Im then worried that people think Mike is being mean to me, which makes me more sad because he's an angel!! aaaaah!!! I just wanted to go home. Here's the bad part about NYC. If youre sad, and you just wanna cry on the drive home, in the privacy of your car, blaring angry music, you just cant. Instead you have to get on a train with hundreds of strangers and cry. Its awful. 4 stops later, we got home. I crawled out the window to our fire escape to breathe. I told him how scared and lost I felt.
He wrapped his arms around me and told me everything would be ok if I just did it. He said that the Universe is screaming at me to stop wasting my time on anything else. He was right. I believed him. He offered to help me. He offered to take care of me because he knows it will work. Nobody has ever taken care of me. Ever. I grew up supporting myself since I was 16. ( Ok I came home for a year or two when I was 19..thanks Mom!) This was new to me. I felt relief. I felt loved. I felt safe. I felt a shift. I felt a push.

Michael is not the only one who believes in me. My cousin Michelle believes in me, all of my sisters believe in me, all of my aunts and uncles believe in me, all of my Moms' believe in me, my best friends believe in me, Complete strangers believe in me, and Im pretty sure Unicorn believes in me. (We had a great heart to heart today.) She may have just wanted to me pet her but, Im pretty sure I heard her say "do it Mommy meow"

Thank you everyone for pushing me to jump.

P.S. It took me 2 hours to write this. I need help. Michelle, please take over and Ill just ramble while you write.....

New Orleans

New Orleans welcomes and entices you with her rich colors,  mossy swamps, overgrown greens, and southern hospitality. She puts a gypsy voodoo spell on you that makes you want to stay forever. I could easily see how one could come here and never leave. The community is rich in history and stunning architecture. Even the poor live in quaint beautiful bright victorian homes. Passing by they offer genuine, boisterous hellos from their porches, and not just a "Hello" its a thick  "Hey, how y'all doin today?" The people make this city even more beautiful without even trying. 

Shes having a Baby

Stephanie. My youngest of 3 sisters had a baby. Its an awakening experience to have the little girl that I used to cradle and care for as my lil baby sis have her own. She is however, a perfect candidate for motherhood. Attentive, loyal, patient, happy, and comfortable with herself. Its a big deal, and Im proud of her. Shes braver than me by far.  I love her so much, and I cannot wait to have conversations with him in the years to come.. hes going to crack up when I show him the blackmail 80s photos of Stephanie!!! Being an Aunt is fun already.. :D welcome to the McKay clan Adonnis!

Arizona State Law Passes...

Goodbye Jeepy. I Love You.

.The year: 1999. Age 24. Finally, I got my dream car. A brand new fire engine red Jeep Wrangler. No co-signers, just me, and boy, was it was a fight. It was a chilly December night. The papers were signed and the keys were in my possession. I asked the salesman to show me how to take the top down so I could drive her the whole one and a half blocks home proper. I consumed his every move of removing the top, there is a system to it, he said. I thanked him, hugged him, and hopped in. My fingers wrapped around the soft leather wheel, I started her up and took note of the miles. 68. I turned the heater on to soothe my chilly fingers...and oooo that new car smell poured out and a big smile on my face did too. The feeling of independence consumed me. I left that lot forever and headed east on Baseline Rd. Tears of happiness, independence, and accomplishment rolled down my rosy, cold, smiling  cheeks. Just as I approached Rural, the warmth of the heater started taking good care of me, all of the sudden it wasnt that cold after all..I continued to cruise around in silence all over my Tempe neighborhood, grasping the feeling of being a Jeep owner. The freedom, the desert air, the bumpy ride, the messy hair. Its sometihng one cannot explain. I fell in love. This baby is mine, I promised to never let her go.... 

Well... fast forward ten years. I still am in love with my loyal, dependable Jeep, and do not want to let her go. However, my life has shifted for the best and Im off to live in a city where no cars are needed, and Im excited for that. This is an acceptable reason to sell my girl. Ive had so much fun with her and it now time to move on. I have a ton of memories in this car.  Even to this day, every winter, when I turn on the heater, I am immediately taken back to the day I drove her off and she warmed me up. The smell has never left. Ive always loved that. I love you Jeepy, thank you for going everywhere with me. 

(Update : Jeepy now belongs to my beloved friend Stephanie, shes in good hands.)

Chellise